Previous page | Main ALOVE site Archive  10 Ways To Change Your Family Life For The Better ... : back    ... Tell us what you think here Families - you can’t choose them, you are simply born into them. Some are easier than others, yet with God’s help we can transform them, build on the love that is already there and change some of the negative aspects forever. Here are ten suggestions towards doing just that. 1. Proclaiming the Psalms If you’re a Christian family used to praying at meal times, then here is something that will take your family prayer life a step deeper. Proclaim scripture! Reading through the Psalms out loud, taking it in turns to read a verse, actually starts to focus your prayers on God’s agenda for the world: justice, mercy, caring for the poor. This is an excellent way of taking the focus off our usual Western-style ‘shopping list’ prayers, which are valid but perhaps not always the main priority. 2. Pray together If members of your family aren’t Christians, then the concept of prayer might baffle them. However, why not suggest spending some time after a meal praying. You may be the only one praying out loud, but why not go around every family member, asking what they would like prayer for. This may sound crazy, but you would be surprised how many people who profess to not believing in God actually welcome the opportunity to be prayed for. 3. Turn the box off! Families were meant to eat together! With our fast food, ready-meal, TV-dinner culture, it is so easy for family members to end up eating on their own. If they’re lucky, your parents might get a chance to dine with their children once or twice a week. Why not - as much as possible - fix a time in the week when you’re all going to be together, and then sit down to eat. Turn the telly off, and just be together. Meal times are crucial in allowing a family to voice their opinions without fear of condemnation: to laugh, reminisce, plan and relax together. 4. Go easy on the shopping! You must have seen the families on a Saturday afternoon, in the sardine-packed shopping mall, screaming at each other or pretending to be enjoying themselves as they sulk into their café lattes. Why not take it in turns to do the shopping? If you don’t hold the wallet perhaps go in with Mum or Dad. Or if it’s just a supermarket run, why not offer to go for them. Be sure to make a list though! 5. Thursday, 8pm Sometimes we don’t get the best out of our Mum, Dad or siblings, because the others just ‘get in the way’. Why not make an appointment to go for a meal with your Mum? That’s right, take her out for a bite to eat and actually talk to her! Or, make every Thursday night a ‘Dad’ or ‘Brother night’ where you go out and catch a movie. It’s in these times that we actually get to know individual family members better and learn what’s really going in their lives. 6. See the need What stresses your Dad out? Is it mowing the lawn every Saturday in Summer when really he’d like to just sit and watch the cricket? Or, at Christmas time, is it your Mum who feels lumbered with writing all 337 Christmas cards after a day’s shopping for the extended family? See the need and take some of the weight off their shoulders. Mow the lawn for your Dad. Write the Christmas cards this year. Give your parents a break. 7. Do something fun! Decide on a rule in your family where you take it turns to choose an activity to do. Now, this may not be to everyone’s liking, but then at least you all get to try something new and - who knows - you may have a great laugh and build many fun memories doing it. 8. Random activity What have your family NEVER done together? Have you ever climbed a mountain, white water rafted, been to the theatre, rode through London on an open-topped bus, even gone to church together? Decide on something you have never done before and go and do it! You’ll be surprised how fun this could actually be, if a little daunting at first… 9. Respect each other’s space. Family life can be hectic for many. You may be one of two, three, four even five siblings or an only child. Either way, you still need your space. Do Mum or Dad annoy you sometimes? Find somewhere in your house where you can enjoy your own space. It may even be outside. The most important thing is to communicate to your family that you are in need of your own space. This way, if spoken sensitively and kindly, you begin to build an atmosphere of clear communication whereby everyone knows when one of you needs to be alone. 10. Create a family prayer diary Each family has a spiritual as well as a physical history. It’s good to chart where God has taken you all as a family as well as individually. Why not create a book that each member writes their prayers in. From time to time, after a really great family meal, read through it together and note the prayers God has answered for you all. : back to top : back to culture page Youthwork - The Partnership ... ALOVE, Youthwork Magazine, Youth For Christ, Spring Harvest and Oasis are working together to equip and resource the Church for effective youth work and ministry.