Fact - we’re all selfish! Yet we can all learn to be selfless. How? Start small, work on the little things and soon you’ll grow in your selflessness. Here are 10 small ways to help get you started:

1. Don’t just appear interested
When you’re in conversation with somebody, try not to zone-out whilst they’re sharing personal information with you. If you do, you’ll miss key facts, detail to pray about, information you perhaps never knew before. One of the loveliest, selfless things we can do is to meet up with someone at a later date and refer back to the situations they previously shared. It means a lot to people to know they were really listened to. Yet, if you weren’t listening first time then you’re likely to end up embarrassed when you ask the same questions again.

2. Drive Kindly
Do you drive? Are you a considerate driver or an impatient one? I absolutely hate being stuck behind buses, because they are so slow and keep stopping. Worse still, is being stuck behind a lorry or a van in a traffic jam and not being able to see what’s happening ahead. It drives me insane, yet I’ve had to learn to take deep breaths. One of the most selfless things we can do as drivers is to make the choice to be considerate even when we don’t want to be. Let people pull out in front of you. If it’s safe to do so, slow down and let someone cross the road, and - kindness of all kindnesses - let another car take that parking space ahead of you, during Saturday’s multi-storey madness.

3. Be Considerate
Ok, so you may not have kids, may not be elderly or may not have a disability, yet when did you last look at the people on your High Street and consider their needs when getting in and out of shops? Take a look next time at the difficulties facing a parent manoeuvring a pram into a shop with a heavy glass door, or the old man trying to manage walking with a stick with all his shopping. What can you do to help make their life easier?

4. Slow Down...Life’s Too Short!
As well as my natural impatience as a driver, I hate crowds of people that slow me down when I’m trying to get somewhere. Train platforms at rush-hour, shoppers on Oxford St during the London pre-Christmas rush, people who walk too slow...all these I can easily see as competitors trying to beat or obstruct me from getting to my destination. It makes me selfish! In learning to be considerate and selfless, I’ve had to learn to slow down. Ask yourself, “Why am I rushing? Could I leave earlier and have more time to chill?” Learn to slow down or at least learn to manage your time better!

5. What Have People Done For You Lately?
Who has treated you like a prince or princess lately? Who has shown you kindness that perhaps you’d have trouble showing another? Think about this and try and do as others have ALREADY done for you. What has your best friend done, bought or even said to you recently that in their kindness has totally amazed you? Has someone at church completely bowled you over this week with real kindness? Be an imitator of this kindness, finding others to show it to.

6. Put Yourself Under The Microscope
This is not a pleasant exercise, but if you want to become less selfish, more considerate, patient and selfless, then take time out to examine yourself. What have you been like to live with recently? Have you only talked about yourself to others; your wants, your dreams, your frustrations? Have you zoned-out when others have been vulnerable with you and opened their hearts seeking your advice? Once you’ve put your character under the microscope, don’t beat yourself up, but DO pray about it, asking God to change your outlook from a selfish to a selfless focus.

7. Don’t Be A Freeloader
It’s a good thing to be able to receive others’ kindness, gifts and hospitality, but whilst examining yourself under the microscope, has it become clearer that you may have relied or assumed someone will cook you Sunday lunch, drive you somewhere or pay for a coffee at Starbucks? Do you make arrangements to socialise knowing that a more generous person will offer to pay for everything. Worse still, do you turn up without any money, convinced that someone else will pay? It would be potentially embarrassing should one day both of you turn up without money! So, why not sensibly and within your means, decide to treat people to lunch, coffee, on a regular basis.

8. Speak Well Of Those You Around You
Who do you compete with? Who has the same or even better talent than you at something? Who annoys you because they always seem to get it right, turn up more polished, prepared and practiced? The question for you is, how do you speak about them to others? To be selfless we have to practice speaking well of others, because it lessens the unhealthier side of competitiveness and softens our desire to become self-focused in order to be beat others at something. Competition is fine, yet when it consumes are thought-life and affects our speech, then we’re in danger of becoming highly selfish.

9. Put Yourself In Their Shoes
Don’t ignore the signs that people give you. Learn to ‘listen between the lines’ when people talk to you. What are they trying to tell you, but perhaps not wanting to be too open about? Try and understand what others are going through not only by processing the information, but actually by putting yourself in their shoes: “How would I feel if I’d just failed my driving test? How would I want others to respond to me? In what ways can I respond to them on a practical, caring level?”

10. Choose A Role Model and LEARN from them
We all have people that we admire. Pick someone in your life that you admire for being kind, patient, generous, wise and caring. Then try and learn from their behaviour. Nobody is perfect, yet all of us have strong points that others admire. Choose someone who really lives a selfless life and learn from them.