To round off our look at addiction, ALOVE interviews Lloyd Kinsley, a freelance designer, who is the man behind the ALOVE clothing merchandise and Lardmonkey clothing label.

Name, age and occupation.

Lloyd Kinsley, 25, Freelance Designer

Can you tell us something about your addiction experiences?

I had a not so pleasant experience throughout Secondary School, with bullying and isolation. In an attempt to fit in, but more to forget, I began drinking; socially at first, but eventually as a part of getting through a week. It didn't really change anything and I still felt isolated so I began taking drugs, in many ways it was down to the fact that I could see not everyone took drugs and thought that if I did it would set me apart.

How did you feel when you were in the middle of you addiction?

A strange balance of achievement and defeat. I felt that I'd found in many ways, some peace, some release from being afraid or alone, but also felt completely defenceless. I knew what I was doing, and what I'd allowed myself to become, but saw no way out. I felt there was nothing I could physically do to stop!

Did you feel powerless or trapped when it came to getting out of the addiction? Did you even want to break free?

Definitely, along the way I became more and more aware of how much I despised myself for allowing these things to consume me. I was ashamed of the kind of person I was. I began to self-harm to punish myself and came to the point of attempting to end my life. Obviously unsuccessfully!

Can you tell us a bit about how you became a Christian?

When I was 17 I decided to go to ROOTS (a Salvation Army Conference) with some friends, because I thought it would be a good laugh. A while before ROOTS I had a bit of an accident messing about in someone's back garden with a good friend of mine - I went up in the air, came down and my left forearm snapped and bent over on it's self. As a result, my arm had to be reconstructed with Titanium screws, plates and wires. When ROOTS came around my arm was just out of the final cast, it was sore, pale and very weak. I'd been told that I would never have full use of it. The weekend of ROOTS went on and I realised I was firstly suffering serious withdrawal from my addictions and, secondly, seriously low in a place full of happy people, irritatingly so at times. I had a lot of time that weekend to reflect on how unhappy I was, so one night in the middle of a time of reflection I gave God an ultimatum (not a nice thing to do by the way). I asked him to do something to prove he was there for me or even there at all, or I would fix my problem by ending my life. My arm became warm, almost painfully so, but not unbearable. I was petrified to be honest, and even though it was happening, still couldn't believe it, my arm then felt ... different. I had strength in it and it didn't hurt. I told my friend Adam who was standing next to me, who happened to be sorting things out with God himself that night and the rest - as they say - is history.

When you became a Christian what happened to your addictions?

Well, they were still there. They were still just as strong. But with God making such a bold statement of what he could do, and what was possible through him I went cold turkey - cut off all my ties to the drugs, the friends that I associated with, the people I drank with and just broke away from it. I felt very sick for a long time, imagined things, created things mentally that weren't there, but every day moved further from needing the addictions. The worst part was still to come … telling people - I'd kept it secret (somehow) from my family and close friends, but finally letting them know made the last hold of the addictions go.

Do you ever get tempted to go back to how things were?

Not back to the life, but definitely back to the addictions, small things like smelling weed as young people walk by smoking it, or moments of isolation that used to vanish when drunk or stoned. Some nights waking up with bad dreams remembering things that I'd blocked out. Basically when I got low, Satan attacked. Twisting situations, making them seem like there was only one option.

What would you say to a young person who’s in similar position you were?

Tell someone. If you're worried what a family member or friend might think of you then call any of the number of phone-lines available. The Drink and Drugs scene has always had the misconception of being appealing but as solutions they are either ineffective or short-term.

Can anyone get into that kind of situation?

Yes, and very easily. Alcohol, Smoking, Self-Abuse all seem to be easy ways out of many problems that we face because they involve no one else but you. You choose to turn to the addiction rather than face and fix the problem

How can people best avoid getting trapped into addictions?

Be open and honest with yourself and your friends. It was my biggest regret about the whole thing, that I showed some of the best people I know (my friends) the least trust and faith. If you are already going down a path where you feel things could get out of hand, distance yourself. That's not to say become an enclosed hermit. Just step back from situations that you know you're not strong enough in. Knowing your weakness is being strong.