Are we trying to prove to the world we’re perfect through our image? Carrie Cummings takes a look into the question of image, beauty and acceptance and argues the most beautiful and desirable thing we can offer God is our vulnerability and raw honesty.

What is it about our own appearance that gets us so hung up? What is it about our size that causes us to fearfully note the calories and grams of fat in every item of food? Why do we as consumers spend millions of pounds on items that promise to make us look like the next super model? Why is it that how I look can determine my mood for the day? Why is it that at times I want to cry when I look in the mirror? Why is it never enough?

Despite the fact that I’ve spent the past couple of years becoming more and more furious about the hold that our outward appearance has on us, I haven’t got much closer to answering most of those questions. Is it solely because of the ever-blamed media that so many of my friends spent their secondary school years secretly starving themselves? Can we really be that naive; that easily manipulated? Quite frankly, to a certain extent yes, but there’s more to it.

I laugh when people accuse others of being perfectionists, or even claim that they themselves are perfectionists. The more I watch those around me, the more I realise we all strive to be perfect one way or another. Presentation has always been important to me. I have driven colleagues, friends, roommates and family mad in the past by insisting on everything around me being ‘aesthetically pleasing’. On a more detrimental level, I tend to punish myself or, at times, those around me if I don’t look “perfect”, which frankly I never have nor ever will.

The point is that in all of us there is something that cries out to be “perfect”, all of us display this drive in different ways; some through music, others through academic performance, and still others through relationships- the list of others goes on. The vast majority of us want to prove to the world that we are “perfect” and we try to do this through our physical appearance. This drive is often destructive to both ourselves and those around us.

We’ve twisted the definition of perfection. We now believe that perfection is what the world tells us it is. For girls it is blonde, tall and tanned. And if you happen to be blonde, tall and tanned, perfection is then dark, petit, and mysterious. No matter what we look like or what we do to ourselves our image will never fit the world’s warped sense of perfection. It wasn’t intended to. We weren’t created solely for our short life here, we were created for so much more: we were created for eternity. Therefore our longing for this unknown we call perfection goes so deep that this shallow shell of a world cannot fill it, no matter how desperately we try.

What causes further concern, is that if as Christians we continually strive for perfection then we’ve entirely missed the point of the cross. The cross says “its not about you anymore, because I’ve done it all”; it says “Jesus didn’t die for the perfect”. The cross cries out “beauty is broken; beauty is vulnerable; beauty is real”. The most beautiful and desirable thing we can offer God is our vulnerability and raw honesty.

I’d love that to be the end of it; that once we heard the above statements our identity in Christ and self-image all slotted into place. Speaking from experience, the reality is that it’s not that easy. We still are bombarded with continual messages of what perfection should look like and are still driven by the desire to be and look perfect. Nonetheless we can choose to fight the negative thoughts with the God given truth. When I’m in Oxford Circus staring at all the beautiful people on the billboards I remind myself that I’m a daughter of God; that I am made in His image- God’s image- the Creator- the Magnificent- the Beautiful. When I look in the mirror and see yet another dreaded spot, I ask God for His truth about me. His truth that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made; [that] His works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14. When I feel undesirable I chose to remember the incredible love story of the cross, that speaks of God incarnate giving up His rights, his life and in fact His very deity simply out of His desire for me to know Him. When I get annoyed and frustrated with myself I remember that “he who began a good work in me will continue it until the day of completion” Philippians 1:6. You see in the end it’s not about looking at ourselves, it’s about looking into the glorious beauty of Jesus, in the light of this nothing else matters.


Carrie Cummings is part of ANYA - a group of young women that are seeking to develop a mentoring network for women. If you would like to find out more about what they're up to and the aims of ANYA email: anyagirls@yahoo.co.uk