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I'm
too fat. I’m too skinny. I'd be happy
if I were taller, shorter, had curly hair,
straight hair, a smaller nose, bigger muscles,
longer legs. If you have ever wrestled any
of these questions, or ones like them (and
lets face it who hasn’t), then this
month’s theme is for you.
ALOVE takes a look at self-esteem and self-image,
two of the most powerful influences on your
life and things that are continually manipulated
by the TV, magazines, films and peer pressure.
This is a complex deep issue that everyone
encounters in slightly different ways so
we start by looking at some of the lies,
some of the truths and offer some tips on
how to wage war against the voices that
scream you’re worthless. |
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What is Self-Image?
The words self-esteem and self-image
fill talk shows and magazines the world
over. Its big business but what is it
all about? Self-esteem is how much you
value yourself, and appreciate your
own worth. Self-esteem is the outworking
of your self-image. Basically, when
you feel good about yourself and your
self-image is healthy, you enjoy life
more and are happier. The difficulty
for Christians is that we must learn
to see our selves as God sees us (as
his fearfully and wonderfully made children)
while the world says to gain self-esteem
we must have an image similar to the
ones they plaster over their films,
adverts and magazines. |
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Why do I care
so much about my body? Although
self-esteem applies to every aspect
of how we see ourselves, it is often
mentioned in terms of our appearance
or body image. Body image is how we
see and feel about our physical appearance.
We tend to relate self-esteem to body
image for many reasons. People judge
others by things like the clothes they
wear, the shape of their body, or the
way they wear their hair. If a person
feels like he or she looks different
than others, then body image and self-esteem
may be affected negatively. So rather
than focus on how God sees us we often
construct our self-image on our understanding
on how others see us. |
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You’re
not alone. Everyone in life has
to come to terms with his or her self-image.
For teenagers and even those in their
twenties this is even more acute than
it is for adults: As a teen your body
is going through a whole bunch extreme
changes ranging from how you look to
how you feel. As your body changes so
does your view of yourself and so teenagers
are constantly trying to work out how
they and others (from friends, family
all the way up to God) see them. There’s
nothing wrong with you for thinking
these things- how you control and focus
your thoughts is the key here. |
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God looks at
the heart. It’s a hard
one to swallow but grasping this truth
is key to understanding who you are.
The magazines say that you will never
be happy, never be popular, and never
be at peace unless you have the perfect
body. God knew this would be an issue
in a fallen world of mixed up values
so advised Samuel all the way back in
the Old Testament in no uncertain terms
what the truth of the matter is. 1 Samuel
16:7 says, "The Lord said to Samuel,
'Do not consider his appearance or his
height, for I have rejected him. The
Lord does not look at the things man
looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance,
but the Lord looks at the heart."
It’s hard, but important to accept
God’s truth on the matter. It
will help you move on into all he has
for you, rather than getting stuck at
the mirror. |
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A perfect body
isn’t really what you’re
after. Despite what you might
think, obsessive eating or starving
is not really about your body. Often
what you are really doing is equating
outer beauty with acceptance, which
is what you truly long for. Dissatisfaction
with your body stems from a desire to
be loved and accepted, but this is truly
a matter of the heart. Only God can
fill your need for unconditional love—no
amount of thinness or muscle is ever
going to fill your soul because that
is God's job. God states that real beauty
and real happiness are not external
and that striving for looks will only
you empty inside. |
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What the media
does. What goes into your brain
has to be outworked somehow. Media images
from TV, films, and advertising all
affect self-esteem. Girls may struggle
with media images of teen girls and
women who are unrealistically thin.
Many women and teen girls in magazines,
the news, or on TV are unusually thin,
which may lead girls who are not thin
to believe that something is wrong with
them. Similarly boys may feel pressure
to gain muscle mass quickly. It's important
to realise that self-worth should not
be determined by body size. God has
made you in an intricate, unique way.
The Bible teaches that your body is
a temple. Leading a healthy lifestyle
by exercising regularly and eating nutritiously
is very different to trying to change
your body to fit an unrealistic ideal
that may even damage you. |
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Ignoring the
inner critic. The inner voice
that constantly criticises can be trained
to stop. It’s a case of reminding
yourself of God’s promises and
getting his perspective on you. Recognise
that your body is your own, no matter
what shape, size, or colour it comes
in. Try giving yourself three compliments
every day. By focusing on God’s
words for you, and the positive aspects
of your life, you can change how you
feel about yourself. |
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Get God’s
perspective. Look out at God's
creation. It may be something that brings
you true delight; a sunset or a forest
or a night sky. Now realize that in
God's eyes, you are more precious, more
valuable, and more beautiful. If God
knit you in your mother’s womb
then you can imagine how He must feel
as you daily stand in front of the mirror
and condemn His work. You were put together
with love and pride. Once you can get
hold of God’s perspective on you
and make His image of you your own,
then your esteem will be found in Him
and true, deep happiness must follow.
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| For more
thoughts and advice on the self image issues
visit our support
page. |
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Youthwork -
The Partnership ...
ALOVE,
Youthwork Magazine, Youth For Christ, Spring Harvest and
Oasis are working together to equip and resource the Church
for effective youth work and ministry. |
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