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Being
bullied by schoolmates, teachers and even
work colleagues can be intensely distressing.
ALOVE looks at the UK epidemic of bullying
and examines how we can love our neighbours
as ourselves in a situation of verbal or even
physical abuse.
Radio One reported on how, last year,
more than 31,000 children and young people
called ChildLine about bullying, making it
the most common problem their counsellors
help young people with. In addition, the statistics
charge that, as well as the 170, 000 young
people admitted to hospital each year for
self-abuse, many more maybe harming themselves
behind closed doors in what The Times called
“a hidden epidemic”. Reports show
that a large percentage of self-harmers do
so because of bullying. Laura Rhodes, the
13 year old school girl from Neath, South
Wales, died after taking an overdose. Her
parents claim it was directly linked to "extensively"
bullying at her school.
These statistics dictate that you or someone
you know is almost certainly the victim of
some form of bullying. The problem is especially
acute for 12-15 year olds where bullying has
come far closer to home with the blossoming
popularity of text messaging. The Daily Telegraph
reported over the summer how text bullying
is rife amongst our schools and is such an
incessant threat – the bullies can reach
you 24 hours a day wherever you are –
that many young people are scared to even
own a mobile.
The truth is that bullying can be a horrific
experience that can undermine your confidence
and frighten you to the extent that you become
scared of even going outside. There are some
basic steps that anyone should go through
when experiencing bullying. While the Bible
doesn’t specifically use the word “bully,”
it contains a lot of advice and truth on how
to deal with those who hurt you or your friends.
Combined with some common sense and support
you can get through the situation that you
feel will otherwise overwhelm you.
The first thing to do is to not ignore the
bullying – it won’t go away on
its own and it may get worse. If you ignore
the bullying you won’t be proactive
in talking to God about it or applying his
truth for your life in that situation. Secondly,
tell someone you trust. This could be your
teacher, parent, youth worker or a friend.
They will be able to help you through the
situation and encourage you with God’s
truths for your life. It may seem impossible
to tell someone, but try to take steps to
do so and don’t remain isolated.
Finally, remember – it’s not your
fault. No one deserves to be bullied. Chances
are that the bully is simply attempting to
exercise their power as a result of insecurity,
hurt, or even bullying, in their own life.
As soon as you discover that a girl who seems
wild and vicious is like that because she
is experiencing difficulties within her own
family life, your perspective on the situation
can begin to shift. Through prayer and community
with those you trust, you can turn your heart
more towards God’s compassion and love.
Remember that the unlovable often become so
because they are unloved.
The Bible is clear that our attitude about
the person harassing or even hurting us is
as, if not more, important as what we do about
it. Jesus was clear on the first step we should
take when someone hurts us and becomes our
enemy saying to love them and, in complete
contrast to our natural reaction, do good
to those who swear at and about us and pray
for those who treat us wrongly (Luke 6: 27-28).
Romans 12: 17-18, 21 advises that we don’t
just blindly fight back against bullies but,
wherever and whenever possible, we live at
peace with everyone not overcoming evil with
evil but evil with good. If in any small way
you can reach out with love (even if its then
thrown back in your face) you might just be
having a positive effect in someone’s
life story.
While its important to turn your perspective
of the bully on its head, you must also deal
with the hurt you are feeling yourself. God
understands completely how you feel. He shares
your fear, sadness and sense of isolation.
He was spat on, rejected and eventually killed
by those he came to serve. He was even ignored
by his best friend (Simon Peter) in his hour
of need. Believe the truth - if you can, that
you are certainly not worthless. You are special,
and God loves you.
Even if bullies can make your suffer, hurt
you and make your life a misery, they cannot
take away your friendship with Jesus. There
is nothing that they can say or do to stop
that friendship. All you have to do is start
talking to Jesus again - anytime, and you
will remember that he is with you, listening
and encouraging you. If you are afraid that
Jesus will abandon you, do not be. Even if
others have done this to you, Jesus promises
in the Bible that, “I will never leave
you, or forsake you” (The Bible, Joshua
1:5, Deuteronomy 31:6).
Next time you are singing a worship song about
promises like my Jesus, my saviour (“Nothing
Compares to the promise I have in you”),
remind God that he has promised never to leave
you and thank him for that. He is always there,
even if life is really horrible and scary,
and it certainly does not feel as if he is
with you. Even if you feel that no one else
cares - there is no doubt at all that Jesus
cares for you. Jesus goes further in the Gospels
saying, “Do not fear those who kill
the Body, but then can do nothing to you.”
Bullies can seem to threaten our whole lives,
including perhaps our future financial security.
They can rob you of happiness, just by their
attitude towards us. But, don’t be afraid:
Know Jesus is there with you. Cling to his
promises and let Him be glorified in your
life through your reaction and attitudes of
love towards your enemies.
For further thoughts and advice on bullying
visit ALOVE’s support section. Click
here |
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Youthwork -
The Partnership ...
ALOVE,
Youthwork Magazine, Youth For Christ, Spring Harvest and
Oasis are working together to equip and resource the Church
for effective youth work and ministry. |
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