Previous page | Main ALOVE site Archive   My Mentoring Experience ... : back to relationships page    What do you think of Michelle’s experience of mentoring? - share here ALOVE writer Michelle Spencer shares what mentoring has meant to her ... It was one warm summer's night when I first met the person who would become my mentor, of course at the time I had no idea how much of an influence she would be in the following years after that first meeting, I was just pleased to make a new friend. Mentoring relationships quite often sneak up on you like that, not always but often; sometimes there it is, as simple as just picking somebody to be your mentor. At other times it might just be a natural progression out of an already existing friendship but often it is more 'accidental' than that. I was at a summer school many years ago and one particular evening a team member brought along some friends of his to perform music for us all and this included his new girlfriend who I met that night and hit it off with straight away. She was a little bit older than me so it wasn't like any other friendship I had but as time went on and we saw each other more frequently our relationship grew and I began to trust and respect her opinion so much that more and more I would open up to her with regards to how I was doing, what I was struggling with and what stuff I was confused about; she became a fully fledged part of my life and one that I consequently came to rely upon. Part of the success of this relationship was that she was not only physically older than me but also spiritually she was much more mature than me so I felt that I could go her with any questions/struggles/issues and she generally would have either experienced that herself or she had thought about it already and therefore could give me some solid advice that related directly to what I had approached her about. I l also think that it was this maturity that made my mentor a very observant and wise type which often meant that she would pick up on stuff in my life that I didn't think she would notice and challenge me on those things. As time went on I began realising that in order to gain the full benefit of my mentor I would have to become vulnerable with her and expose all to her, even the stuff that I felt uncomfortable with. This was when I decided that being in this type of relationship was too hard as I didn't want someone knowing all the stuff that I was doing wrong so I backed off from her. During this time I was actually struggling with a really big issue in my life that had raised a lot of questions that I really needed the answers to but was too proud to ask anyone because I thought they would think I was a failure. It just so happened that also during this time I went away with my mentor on a group holiday and as the week progressed this burden that I was carrying began weighing on my mind heavily and I so desperately wanted to talk to someone but I was too embarrassed so I still decided to keep quiet. On the journey home whilst I was sitting in the restaurant congratulating myself on a job well done, my mentor came over to me and said those fateful few words...’What is wrong Michelle?’ In that moment I crumbled. Here was someone sitting in front of me who knew me so well that all she needed to do was ask and all the words that I had wanted to speak for months came tumbling out of my mouth, all I could do was sit on that ferry somewhere over the English Channel and cry my heart out while she sat, listened and prayed with me. It was one of the most amazing experiences of love I have ever felt. I am convinced that all of us often need someone who is there totally for us just to pour out stuff we have been thinking, feeling or struggling in an atmosphere where you feel safe and comfortable and where no one is going to judge. This to me is a mentoring relationship. It is time spent with someone else focusing solely on you without any expectation, feelings of selfishness or hidden agenda. To have someone care about you is such a powerful thing and to have someone who actively seeks you out, wanting to know about you, wanting to listen to you, to give something to you as an individual is so refreshing. Talking to my mentor is time when I can release all of my frustrations, sound board all of my thoughts and revel in the time she spends with me. For those of you who recognise that you need somebody like this I would really recommend you asking God to place somebody in your life to mentor you. If you are willing to be vulnerable, open and honest at all times then you will become part of a friendship which releases you to grow and develop. : back to top : back to vocation page Youthwork - The Partnership ... ALOVE, Youthwork Magazine, Youth For Christ, Spring Harvest and Oasis are working together to equip and resource the Church for effective youth work and ministry.