From time to time, this office receives requests from adopted people (adults) who would like us to trace their birth mothers (or sometimes fathers). Such requests, almost without exception, have to be declined, and we can well understand the disappointment and frustration which this may cause. There are, however, good reasons - both ethical and practical - why the decision is taken.

1 Prior to 1976, when a mother placed her child for adoption, she was given to understand that the processes were carried out in confidence, and that her ‘secret’ would be safe for the future. As a responsible organization, The Salvation Army takes the view that this understanding should continue to be honoured.

2 Very often, the details necessary for carrying out investigations are not available. A minimum requirement for the person sought is the full present name, date of birth and last known address in the present country of residence. Frequently, the only details which are held concerning the birth mother are her maiden name and address at the time when her child was born.

3 In almost every case, The Salvation Army’s first contact with the person who is sought is through the courtesy of a third party. This means that a letter explaining the purpose of our enquiry is sent through someone else (often a professional or official agency) who will not reveal the address to us, but who will forward correspondence to the person concerned. Usually, we have the opportunity of sending only one letter through an agency, and we must therefore be free in that letter to state the identity of the enquirer, and the relationship to the person who is sought. Once the communication has left this office, we have no control over who might open it, including a spouse or other family member of the woman or man to whom it is addressed. This could cause great embarrassment and distress if they are not aware of the adopted person’s existence.

Whilst our desire is wherever possible to restore family relationships, we must endeavour to act in the best interests of all parties concerned, and not only those of the enquirer. It would be inappropriate to try to help one person (and not be able to guarantee success), whilst at the same time bringing hurt and possible family disruption to others.

We must also point out that the organisations who generally assist us will not do so with any enquiries which involve adoption or non-marital births.

3 We must stress that a) our procedures do not enable us to find out someone’s present address; b) we therefore cannot guarantee being able to communicate directly with the parent sought, in order to discuss the enquiry which has reached us.

4 In exceptional circumstances, it may be possible to consider requests regarding siblings who were not placed for adoption, and whose names and birthdates are known. This would only be within the above guidelines, and not where the ultimate intention is to trace a birth mother.

When we decline enquiries of this nature, we are not making a moral judgement with regard to character or behaviour; nor are we acting in an unChristian way. In most cases, the information which is required is not available, and always the risk of hurting others is great. As a responsible organization, we therefore have to take decisions in this area which may be unpopular with our enquirers. We do so with reluctance.

Dos and Don'ts